Wouldn’t it be wonderful if the world were always a bright, shiny place and everyone was always supportive? Oh, it would. It would. But that’s just not the case. So let’s talk about how to stay up when other people are bringing you down.
The simple fact of the matter is that people—including our family and friends—are going to have opinions about what you do. To be clear, they’ll have opinions no matter what it is you’re doing—copywriting or otherwise. And many of them are going to voice them. Some will be positive and some will be…not so positive.
Here’s how to handle it.
Constructive Feedback vs. Negative Feedback
Before we dig into how to deal with this not-so-positive feedback, let’s make sure we’re on the same page. Some people will offer you feedback with the goal of helping you and supporting you. That’s great and often very useful. But what we’re talking about today is the feedback that isn’t helpful and isn’t supportive (even if they pretend that it is!) and, instead, just makes you feel lousy about yourself and your choices.
How can you tell the difference? If you feel lousy, it’s generally not good feedback, not matter what their intentions are. You simply can’t make good decisions from a place of feeling crummy about yourself. So, if you get feedback that makes you feel bad, you’re dealing with detractors or, in today’s parlance, “haters.” They hate what you’ve got goin’ on.
And, frankly, they may be jealous that you have the guts to pursue something that terrifies them.
Two Types of Haters
There are two main groups of haters you’ll run into: people who try to tear you down in person and people who try to tear you down online.
In-Person Haters (a.k.a. People We Know)
Let’s start with in person. Usually, we’re talking about friends, relatives, and significant others who share with you their opinion about things you’re doing or choices you make. And though they’re close to you, they’re not always very nice about how they share their thoughts—and they’re often not especially informed about all of the details, either.
With this group, you may be lucky enough to be able to simply say, “Thanks for your input. I appreciate your intentions, but this is what I’m going to do and it would mean a lot to me to have your support.” Other people, though, simply won’t let up. In this scenario, it’s more likely that you’re just going to have to get tough and say, “Thanks for your input, but this is what I’m going to do. Since we don’t agree, I don’t think we should talk about it anymore.” If it comes up again, change the subject—and do that every time until they get the point.
This is your life and you have the right to live it the way that you want to. Besides, there’s a good chance that the advice or info they’re giving you isn’t especially well-informed. Unless this person is a creative director or a well-paid, working copywriter, take advice with many, many grains of salt. Their passed along advice from someone whose brother couldn’t make it as a copywriter isn’t useful.
Online Haters
The second group of “haters” is people online. You won’t encounter these people until you start promoting yourself online or writing blog posts, social media posts, or social media ads for a client. The crazy thing is that there is a group of people out there who get their kicks from writing mean and nasty things on social media and in website comments.
Let me be very clear about these kinds of people: Nothing you can say will win them over. Don’t try to argue with them, don’t try to reason with them, don’t try to get other people to engage with them. You must ignore them and, when possible, delete them.
There really is nothing you can do about these people. In fact, there was a Psychology Today article that indicated that internet trolls like these are actually sadists and psychopaths offline, too. (Really!) You can’t engage with them, but you also can’t let an online psychopath make you feel bad. They’re really and truly crazy. All you can do is ignore them.
There are some people that say that if people are saying mean things about you, you’re doing something right. I don’t really see it that way. Instead, just know that at some point, everyone who posts anything online is going to get a mean comment or message from some crazy troll. It’s not just you and it doesn’t reflect on you or the work that you do. If there’s nothing at all constructive you can take from it, just write it off as your time getting trolled.
Who to Take Copywriting Advice From
Now, with all of this said, let’s take a moment to talk about the people who aren’t saying mean or unsupportive things. That is, let’s talk about the good people. Sometimes we get so wrapped up in ourselves or what we’re working on that we let loving and supportive words go by unacknowledged. Don’t let that happen.
Knowing that there are so many crummy people in the world who would love nothing better than to make you feel bad, be sure to thank the people around you who encourage and love you. Those are the people you need to be listening to.
The other people you need to listen to? People who have succeeded at what it is you want to do.
You may find plenty of people who say, “oh, copywriting is hard to get into.” But, 99.9% of the time, these folks either have never tried copywriting or they decided to try copywriting, but didn’t get any training. That’s like saying it’s hard to become a pilot, but you never went to flight school.
With any endeavor in life, copywriting or otherwise, you want to take advice from the people who know what they’re talking about. And who knows what they’re talking about? People who have achieved what you want to achieve. If someone else can achieve it, it’s 100% possible for you to achieve it, too.
And, with copywriting, there are specific steps you can follow to create a fulfilling career.
Watch More
On episode 167 of the Build Your Copywriting Business podcast, Nicki and Kate are talking about how to have conversations with anyone who is getting in the way of your copywriting career.
Many times, we may not even realize people are becoming roadblocks to our success. Here’s what to look for and how to handle these conversations in a way that doesn’t burn bridges—and let’s you continue your copywriting journey with confidence.
Read More
Here are some additional resources you may find useful as you combat the haters.
- Becoming a Copywriter…Even When Your Partner Is Skeptical (Start at about the 16:00 mark to hear from Adele’s partner, Jake, and his take on her career change!)
- This is Your Competition—in Your Career and in Your Life
- Define Your Own Copywriting Success
Your Turn
Have you encountered haters? How have you dealt with it? Let us know in the comments below!
Last Updated on October 30, 2024
Taura says
Well usually, I go for a walk, get water or pray to stay encouraged/ positive.
Nicki Krawczyk says
Hi Taura,
Those sound like perfect ways to deal with problem people—good for you for having a plan to stay positive!
Thanks for commenting!
Nicki