If you’re anything like most of the members in our community, you’re probably the type of person who sets goals and measures yourself against “ideals.” But sometimes, in the pursuit of those dreams, we forget to give ourselves credit for what we’ve already achieved. Built your portfolio? Sent your first pitch? Landed your first client?! These are all HUUUGE wins worth celebrating!
On today’s episode, Nicki and Kate are discussing some of the most valuable takeaways from the book The Gap and the Gain by Dan Sullivan and Dr. Benjamin Hardy. If you find yourself slipping into “gap thinking” and dismissing your wins a bit too quickly, listen in to discover how you can find fulfillment again throughout your journey of achievement.
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Looking for closed captioning or a transcript? Watch the episode on YouTube!
A Sneak Peek at the Episode
[2:33] Nicki found some of the principles in the book “The Gap and the Gain” particularly valuable when she found herself in a negative space earlier in the year, comparing herself to others and what they’ve achieved.
[4:18] The “gap” is the space between where you currently are and where you want to be or where you think you want to be, whereas the “gain” is where you are looking backward to where you’ve come from.
[5:20] The book highlights that your brain has evolved to forget gains. That means when you hit a certain target like $10K a month, it’s easy to move on to your next goal very quickly. But it’s important to take the time to celebrate these achievements before moving the goalposts again.
[8:04] When you spend all of your time in the “gap”, thinking of where you’re not yet measuring up, it’s going to make you unhappy. Focusing on the things that you have achieved will make you a more appreciative person.
[9:52] Our minds trick us into believing that if we just get to a certain point, then we’ll be happy, we’ll be safe, and we’ll know we will have achieved enough. But in reality, there’s always a next step.
[12:03] Setting yourself time to actually write down the steps you’ve taken to reach your goal means you can see all of the ways that you have grown and all of the challenges that you have overcome. This is a great way to gently force yourself into the “gain”.
[13:52] Try to notice when you have those moments of living in the “gap”, so that you can take the chance to refocus yourself on the “gain”. The book shares some useful exercises to help with this, like looking for things that indicate that you are being successful.
[17:19] Think about what success means to you so that you can see where you are being successful in your life. Is it having the freedom to take days off? Or to work from wherever you want? Nicki and Kate share their own examples of what success looks like to them.
[22:11] You can also think about success in terms of how aligned your schedule is with what you say your priorities are. Often we don’t prioritize the things that we say are the priority, like health, wellbeing, and family.
Must-Hear Takeaways
As with every episode, we highly encourage you to listen to the entire conversation! But here are a few of the highlights:
“We don’t stop to celebrate our wins. We’re so continuously moving the goalposts. We hit a thousand dollars a month, and are like, ‘okay, great, that was easy. Now I want to hit two, now I want to hit five, now I want to hit 10.’ And we’re always just looking at what the next thing is versus celebrating the fact that getting our first client is a huge win.” – Kate
“Remember that you’re not jumping from a thousand dollars a month to $10,000 a month. It’s not an instant thing. So what’s going to be happening is you’re going to spend a lot of time getting there and building there and getting up close. And what often happens is that by the time we finally hit that point, so many of us spend a moment ago, “oh wow, that’s cool” and then go on to the next thing because we’ve been building up to it for so long that it’s no longer this amazing thing that’s so far away. However, it is still worth celebrating.” – Nicki
“When you spend all of your time in the gap, thinking of where you’re not yet measuring up, it’s going to make you unhappy. But spending more time focusing on the gain, focusing on the things that you have achieved and the progress that you’ve made, will make you a happier and more appreciative person.” – Nicki
“Writing down all of the things that you have achieved, all of the ways that you have grown, and all of the challenges that you have overcome is a great way to gently force yourself into the gain and to appreciate who you’ve become and how much you have done. It’s a very effective tactic for gently pulling yourself out of that low energy or those low emotions.” – Nicki
Mentioned on this Episode
- Master Your Money Mindset – With Brie Sodano
- The Gap and The Gain by Dan Sullivan and Dr. Benjamin Hardy
Related Links
- Should a Money Mindset Matter to Copywriters?
- Book Pick: Why Your Obsession with Money is Getting in the Way of Your Copywriting Success
- #1 Thing You Need to Do Throughout Your Copywriting Career
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About the Build Your Business Podcast
Ready to turn your love of writing into a successful copywriting career?
Join professional copywriters Nicki Krawczyk and Kate Sitarz to get the tips, tools, and training to help you become a copywriter and build a thriving business of your own. Nicki and Kate have 20+ and 10+ years of experience, respectively, writing copy for multi-billion-dollar companies, solopreneurs, and every size business in between.
Whether you want to land an on-staff job, freelance full-time and work from wherever you want, or make extra money with a side hustle, the best place to start learning is right here.
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Last Updated on March 6, 2025
