If the idea of negotiation freaks you out, you’ll want to listen to Susie Tomenchok’s tips for getting more comfortable and effective at negotiation.
Susie, a negotiation guru, breaks down the stigma associated with negotiation, offers tips for asking more (if you’re not hearing “no” enough, you’re not asking enough), and explains how we can use “no” as a start of a conversation versus an end to a conversation.
After listening to Susie, you’ll have the tools to objectively look at your pricing when quoting clients and feel confident about your numbers.
Looking for closed captioning or a transcript? Check out the episode on YouTube!
A Sneak Peek at the Episode
[2:30] Susie speaks about how she became inspired by her daughters and became a negotiation expert.
[3:40] Susie notes that negotiation happens all around you, even when you don’t realize it’s happening..Carnegie Mellon’s PhD program asks its students to practice negotiating everywhere, even the deli. It’s all about two parties trying to find a win-win.
[5:16] Nicki asks Susie where hang-ups come from, where people are programmed to feel as if they should say “no.” Susie notes that we’re socialized that way and gives the example of calling down from your hotel room for an extension on your check-out time. She talks about how the person on the other side is conditioned to say “no,” but you have to make the effort so you can receive an extension.
[7:45] Susie talks about how negotiation is about reminding the people of your value and opening up their consciousness about your value.
[9:20] She notes how if you’re negotiating a salary or a deal, the other person may not be aware of how important it is to you. But it may be so easy for the person you’re negotiating with to give. For us, it feels like such a big thing. In order to break out of that fixed mindset, look at the situation as “what if” and put yourself out there. The more you do that, you’re enlightening the other person about you.
[10:00] Susie poses the question to Nicki and Kate, “What makes you nervous when negotiating and where do you feel most comfortable while negotiating?” She also adds, “Do you feel most comfortable negotiating for yourself or someone else?”
[11:43] Kate and Nicki note that they feel most comfortable advocating and negotiating for others because it feels less selfish.
[14:40] Susie talks about how money can be one of the more difficult things to speak about and putting the idea out there and opening up for a possible conversation puts everyone at ease.
[18:15] She notes that negotiating started in the sixties and seventies with lawyers and that it was all about going in “for the kill”. Now, negotiating is talked about being a win-win. You want to get what you want, but you don’t want both parties to ever feel like they were slighted.
[24:50] Susie talks about when verbally negotiating on phone calls, it’s important to practice saying your quote and then stopping when you’re done. Press mute or practice stopping because when you’re that stressed out, it’s hard to stop talking.
[28:54] She also talks about how negotiation is a bit like weight loss, where every year you have the mindset that you’re going to go for it, but every January there’s a new silver bullet.
[37:30] Nicki speaks about how people are predisposed to hiring you, because they don’t want to go through so many people. Make it that much easier for them by being a partner to them, so that it makes it easy for them to say yes to you.
[41:19] Closing out the podcast, Nicki and Kate ask Susie what she recommends for people just getting started with negotiating. Susie recommends that people start with the framework: prepare, aware, close, and evaluate. By looking at negotiation in those parts and as a process, you can start that negotiation journey.
Mentioned on this episode:
- Get Your Free Negotiation Tip Sheet: NegotiationLove.com
- Learn more about Susie at SusieTomenchok.com
- Should I List Prices on My Copywriting Website?
- The (Surprisingly Easy) Art of Negotiation for Copywriters
- How to Negotiate Your Salary
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Last Updated on December 20, 2022