You’ve probably heard Mel Robbins’ “Let Them” theory by now. (If not, pick up a copy or get on your library’s waitlist—trust us, there’s a waitlist for good reason!)
Let them underestimate you.
Let them judge.
Let them do their thing.
It’s a powerful mindset shift—but it’s only the beginning.
On this episode of the Build Your Copywriting Business podcast, Kate and I are giving our take on the book (5 out of 5 stars!), but, more importantly, breaking down why stopping at “let them” could keep you stuck.
If you’ve been spiraling with:
“What will people think when I update my LinkedIn to say ‘copywriter’?”
“Is this copy good enough? What if my client hates this?”
“I’m bothering people. Why would they want to hear from me?”
Then I really would love you to join the conversation and listen in! Take 30 minutes (15 if you listen on double speed like me 😉) and get the mindset framework that will help you get un-stuck.
TUNE IN: Spotify | Apple Podcasts | Stitcher
Looking for closed captioning or a transcript? Watch the episode on YouTube!
A Sneak Peek at the Episode
[02:43] Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins, is essentially saying, using this mantra of Let them do whatever it is they’re going to do, think whatever it is they’re going to think, say whatever it is they’re going to say.
[03:20] The important second step is let me react in the way I want to react. I have control over what I think, say, and do. And so I’m going to use that power to take my next step versus relinquishing power, if you will, to someone else who is outside my control.
[05:06] You can’t control other people. They’re gonna do it anyway, so let them. It’s a losing battle to try to expect differently or to try to force people to act in certain ways.
[06:43] Now that you are accepting that some things are out of your hands. Are you gonna sit and use all of that time thinking of things that you will never possibly have an answer to in terms of what they’re thinking? Bad or Good, doesn’t matter either way. I’m just gonna keep doing what I need to do.
[08:01] My client sent me feedback and it wasn’t all glowing and positive. I can respond to my client with a Loom video walking them through certain choices and why we might need to have a conversation about it. Keep on moving forward in a way that gets things back on the right track.
[08:41] I think there’s so many opportunities for us to use this, but if we stop at the ‘Let them’. That’s not going to take us where we want to go. Until we do the ‘Let me’ and we keep moving forward, that’s the way to get out of this place of discomfort of feeling.
[10:20] Because you can’t live in disappointment forever. I think unfortunately it can be very easy to get mired in the emotion. So feel the emotion. And then what is the next step after that?
[12:58] It’s easy to forget that we get to be in charge of what we’re thinking. We are not at the mercy of our brains, of our emotions, and of other people. We are in charge of our lives.
[14:50] Maybe they did give you feedback and maybe at that point it’s, oh, I need to get a spec piece in my portfolio. Or it’s, let me send a few more pitches. But reminding yourself this is part of the learning process and that this is making you a stronger, better copywriter.
[15:41] There’s just so many options that you have. What are my options? Go to the Facebook group and ask your peers. Ask us on a coaching call, whatever it is for. Here’s what happened, here’s some ideas I have. Are there any other ideas that I’m missing or that I could take in this scenario to just give yourself that beat to say, okay, how can I respond?
[16:16] I think in a lot of life situations, we do have time to pause, sit with it and brainstorm all of the options that we have in our control. This,’ let them’, ‘let me’, is a great tool to have because you’re gonna keep using these decision points for yourself.
[17:20] There is time for feeling those emotions and time for thinking things through. But the more that we all get used to taking action, evaluating what the next steps are, and then picking one, make you a better professional, better person.
[20:53] Usually, I will walk away. Go on a walk with a dog for 20 minutes, half an hour, clear the brain, come back and say, okay! I’m ready to face this now, and I’m going to address this feedback in the best way I know possible.
[21:40] For everything, just putting those time limits is really helpful. I’m gonna sit in whatever this is, but it has to have an end point. And so whatever that is, for you might be different. Maybe it’s journaling, just getting those feelings, thoughts and emotions out could be really helpful.
[26:25] If you have not read it, we would encourage you to read the book or get it from your library, even better. Support your local library.
[26:57] Yes, absolutely, there are things that I cannot control and that is a fact of life. But what I can control is me. So what am I gonna do now? What is my next step now?
Must-Hear Takeaways
As with every episode, we highly encourage you to listen to the entire conversation! But here are a few of the highlights:
“The concepts is that you can only control your thoughts, emotions, and actions and not those of anyone around you. As much as we would like to and as much as we think we can.” – Kate
“But if we stop at the ‘Let them’. That’s not going to take us where we want to go. Until we do the ‘Let me’ and we keep moving forward, that’s the way to get out of this place of discomfort of feeling.” – Kate
“Feel those emotions certainly, but then also do some thinking about what can I do to move past these emotions?” – Nicki
“We are in charge of the actions that we take and the decisions that we make based on the things that happen everyday.” – Nicki
“Keep on moving forward in a way that gets things back on the right track or gets things on a path that you wanna be on.” – Kate
“I’m gonna go write another pitch and send it out ’cause that’s productive. It’s gonna make me feel like I’m planting more seeds in that garden of my copywriting career.” – Kate
“Just get away from it and don’t ruminate as much as possible. Just give yourself a little actual physical space from whatever it is to give yourself some perspective.” – Nicki
Mentioned in the Episode
- The Let Them Theory by Mel Robbins
- The 5 Second Rule: Transform your Life, Work, and Confidence with Everyday Courage by Mel Robbins
- The High 5 Daily Journal by Mel Robbins
Related Links
- 8 Copywriting Books Copywriters Need to Read to Build Marketing and Mindset Skills
- 3 Books Every Copywriter Must Read
- Book Pick: How to Get Out of Your Own Way and Achieve Copywriting Success
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About the Build Your Business Podcast
Ready to turn your love of writing into a successful copywriting career?
Join professional copywriters Nicki Krawczyk and Kate Sitarz to get the tips, tools, and training to help you become a copywriter and build a thriving business of your own. Nicki and Kate have 20+ and 10+ years of experience, respectively, writing copy for multi-billion-dollar companies, solopreneurs, and every size business in between.
Whether you want to land an on-staff job, freelance full-time and work from wherever you want, or make extra money with a side hustle, the best place to start learning is right here.
