Oftentimes, we’re faced with several open doors … but we self sabotage and get in our own way. When we have an an opportunity (or several opportunities!), it’s all too easy to not take action towards it, whether because we don’t know how, we’re fearful of doing so, or some combination of the two.
Whatever the reason, it’s all too easy for us to spiral into negative thinking. We start to believe our thoughts—even if they’re not based in any fact—and it can derail us from achieving success (not to mention derail us from other non-copywriting goals like building meaningful relationships).
If you’re looking for not only ways you can shift these thoughts and behaviors, but also how to make those mindset and behavior changes stick, then you’re going to love this book pick: Get Out of Your Own Way: Overcoming Self-Defeating Behavior by Mark Goulston and Philip Goldberg.
The book explains why we self sabotage ourselves in the first place before going over easy-to-implement steps that allow you to transform forty (yes, 40!) self-defeating behaviors. It turns out, we’re really good at getting in our own way!
While there are dozens of behaviors, several—procrastination, anger, self-pity, quitting too soon and inaction—are common behaviors that rear their head when we try to learn something new as adults.
Goulston, who has twenty years of psychiatric clinical practice, shares tactics that have helped his patients overcome pain, fear, and confusion.
The book may not reveal any new surprises, but it will likely provide you a new take and ways to approach these self-sabotaging behaviors. At the very least, it will remind you not to beat yourself up when you catch yourself doing these behaviors, but rather remind you that you have the power to adjust your mindset and your response.
“Those who are comfortable taking chances know that the best way to grow is to reach beyond their grasp. Their sense of direction comes from the heart. They don’t shy away from surprise; they might even seek it out.”
Get out of your own way
Each of the 40 behaviors is discussed in only a couple of pages, making it less overwhelming to read, as you can pinpoint behaviors you know you need to fix first. But the others are worth reading as you may not even realize some of the ways you’re getting in your own way!
Each behavior includes anecdotes that help bring them to life (and make the content relatable).
So, ready to turn those negative voices in your head off? (Or at least lower their volume?) Let’s do this.
Your Turn! What’s your #1 self sabotaging behavior you want to work on and what’s your plan to work on it? Share in the comments below!
Note: This post contains affiliate links.
Last Updated on October 6, 2022
My problem or (fear) is starting something new and failed. Failure has always kept me from moving forward. Not having enough experience when I try something new and don’t understand where to begin.
Hi Jeff! It’s a very relatable fear. Starting something new (especially as adults) isn’t easy! But that’s why we created the Comprehensive Copywriting Academy, so you can get the experience needed, as well as the step-by-step path for learning how to write copy, finding clients, and landing work. But the truth is, there’s really no such thing as failure! You gain new information that allows you to continuously improve. The more you can practice this, the easier it will get to try new things in all facets of life. The next time you tell yourself “I failed,” notice yourself doing it, stop, and say, “I learned something new from this experience.” And then write down what you learned. It will help you to start reframing how you see failure 🙂 Hope that helps!
Wow! I’ve been looking for information on this subject. I am aware of a few self-defeating behaviours I have. Still, after reading this post and reading the book mentioned. I’ve realized how I have prevented myself from doing and having many things as well as how my behaviour has affected others. Thank you for this much-needed read.
We are so glad it resonated with you – thanks for the comment!
For me it is a form of fear as well. Fear that after I invest a large (what feels LARGE to ME) amount of money and then not getting anywhere! That fear of LOSING my hard earned money that should have went to rent, gas or food! So even though I may be really interested in something, I wind up hesitating to DO anything about it. I also wind up reflecting back on other “risk taking” endeavors that wound up in the toilet.
It’s not unusual to feel that way! It can be so hard to jump into something new when you’ve been disappointed before!